Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Memo from Screwtape to Newspaper Editors
Principles for covering Abortion Protests
1. Gush at how big abortion rights marches are. Accept organizer estimates at face value. Assert over and over that it is one of the largest marches in history. Show ariel views of the march to accurately convey how vast it is. At anti-choice marches you have the option of not mentioning numbers, using nebulous terms like "several thousand" or accepting "official estimates" provided that they are low enough. Avoid showing ariel views of anti-choice marches. Show close ups of a few dozen people, the more radical the better. Or even better yet -- show pro-choice counter protestors!
2. Never mention that although no significant nationwide aboriton rights march has taken place in 12 years, a very large March of Anti-Choice extremists takes place every single year in the same location. Also don't mention that those marches take place in typically frigid January weather, and 5/7ths of the time its on a weekday, while yesterday's march was on a Sunday in the Spring. Pointing out things like this adds perspective and confuses the readership.
3. Talk about how amazingly diverse the abortion rights crowd; even if it isn't. Write lots of stories about the families who travel together as "generations of choice". Mention how religious pro-choice people are. Stock quotes from Catholics for a Free Choice and Religious Coalition for Reproductive rights are easily obtained.
4. Never mention diversity in the anti-choice movement. Democrats for Life, Feminists for Life, Libertarians for Life, Athiests for Life and the Pro-Life Alliance of Gays and Lesbians and other organizations should be ignored if they
don't fit the stereotype of screaming Christian Fundamentalist waving pictures of dead fetuses.
5. Even though you're excited by how many different pro-choice t-shirts and banners can be made using the president's last name and/or the vice-president's first name; you should skip mentioning this. Also avoid pointing out the
presence of signs that read: "If Only Barbara Bush Had Choice," "Barbara Chose Poorly," or "The Pope's Mother Had No Choice". Reporting signs like that would
help people realize that when we say choice, we actually mean death, and studies have determined that its better if we keep most people thinking that choice means, well, choice. Finally, we shouldn't mention the constant use of
the f-word (and we don't mean feminist!) in the speeches at the rally. In general, don't mention the vulgarity of the march. A lot of those red-state simpletons don't understand how funny all this is.
6. Finally, If you don't see any acts of aggression from pro-lifers, act utterly surpirsed and befuddled. Imply that there would have been violence if there wasn't a strong police presence. On the other hand; when pro-abortion
marchers spend the day screaming at women silently holding signs that simply say "I regret my abortion"; ignore this entirely.
Principles for covering Abortion Protests
1. Gush at how big abortion rights marches are. Accept organizer estimates at face value. Assert over and over that it is one of the largest marches in history. Show ariel views of the march to accurately convey how vast it is. At anti-choice marches you have the option of not mentioning numbers, using nebulous terms like "several thousand" or accepting "official estimates" provided that they are low enough. Avoid showing ariel views of anti-choice marches. Show close ups of a few dozen people, the more radical the better. Or even better yet -- show pro-choice counter protestors!
2. Never mention that although no significant nationwide aboriton rights march has taken place in 12 years, a very large March of Anti-Choice extremists takes place every single year in the same location. Also don't mention that those marches take place in typically frigid January weather, and 5/7ths of the time its on a weekday, while yesterday's march was on a Sunday in the Spring. Pointing out things like this adds perspective and confuses the readership.
3. Talk about how amazingly diverse the abortion rights crowd; even if it isn't. Write lots of stories about the families who travel together as "generations of choice". Mention how religious pro-choice people are. Stock quotes from Catholics for a Free Choice and Religious Coalition for Reproductive rights are easily obtained.
4. Never mention diversity in the anti-choice movement. Democrats for Life, Feminists for Life, Libertarians for Life, Athiests for Life and the Pro-Life Alliance of Gays and Lesbians and other organizations should be ignored if they
don't fit the stereotype of screaming Christian Fundamentalist waving pictures of dead fetuses.
5. Even though you're excited by how many different pro-choice t-shirts and banners can be made using the president's last name and/or the vice-president's first name; you should skip mentioning this. Also avoid pointing out the
presence of signs that read: "If Only Barbara Bush Had Choice," "Barbara Chose Poorly," or "The Pope's Mother Had No Choice". Reporting signs like that would
help people realize that when we say choice, we actually mean death, and studies have determined that its better if we keep most people thinking that choice means, well, choice. Finally, we shouldn't mention the constant use of
the f-word (and we don't mean feminist!) in the speeches at the rally. In general, don't mention the vulgarity of the march. A lot of those red-state simpletons don't understand how funny all this is.
6. Finally, If you don't see any acts of aggression from pro-lifers, act utterly surpirsed and befuddled. Imply that there would have been violence if there wasn't a strong police presence. On the other hand; when pro-abortion
marchers spend the day screaming at women silently holding signs that simply say "I regret my abortion"; ignore this entirely.
